How to better understand your cat and their emotions
Do cats have feelings? It’s a common question for those wanting to share their life with a cat. Rest assured, cats do show affection. Read on to learn the essentials of cat behaviour as well as how to care for your new kitten or cat.
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How do cats show affection?
Are you thinking of getting a cat, but worry that they will lack empathy or be an unaffectionate companion? While they may be more complex to read than dogs, it’s simply a matter of understanding cat behaviour to understand how your cat is feeling and how they express their affection.
Studies show that cats have a positive impact on our mental health, with gestures such as stroking their fur helping to soothe and comfort both them and us. In fact, cats can be just as effective a therapy animal as their canine counterparts.
While some may find felines aloof, cat lovers around the world will understand the comfort that their presence can bring. But how do they feel about you?
Common signs of affection shown by cats
Compared to dogs, cats tend to be more subtle in how they show their love for you. A recent study by Dutch researchers showed that cats demonstrate the same six emotions to their pet owners as dogs. These are: anger, disgust, fear, joy, sadness, and surprise.
A 2015 study by Oakland University also illustrated how cats tune into their owner’s emotions and respond accordingly. A smiling human elicited responses such as purring and rubbing from the cats who took part in the experiment.
Your cat’s love language
Whether you’re thinking of getting a feline companion or already living with one, understanding how their behaviour expresses their emotions is vital. Here are some behavioural patterns that strongly suggest your cat is devoted to you.
Meowing
A meowing cat can be a sweet moment of communication between you and your feline. A brief, quiet meow denotes their comfort in our presence. Be aware that cats have different meows for different reasons.
Kneading
When a cat kneads, sometimes referred to as ‘making biscuits’, it can mean that they feel content. This rhythmic movement of their paws links back to kittenhood, when they would knead on their mother, to stimulate milk production. If your cat kneads on you while you’re petting them, this is a strong sign of affection.
Showing their tummy
If a cat exposes their belly in your presence, wow, what a treat. This indicates that they are very comfortable in your presence, as this is their most relaxed state. However, if you go in for a belly rub or scratch, don’t expect it to be appreciated: most cats prefer contact around the head and neck area.
Snoring
Not to be confused with purring, a snoring cat means that they are in a profound state of sleep. They feel comfortable enough in your company to put themselves in such a vulnerable state. In this case, it is best to leave them undisturbed.
Using their tail
A cat’s tail movements express a complex range of emotions. For example, a cat whose tail is erect as they walk about the house is content and confident. Tail movement and general shape are also indicators of underlying emotions in your cat, positive and negative.
However, it is important to know that if a cat is wagging their tail while lying down, and generally acting differently, they can be communicating that they’re in pain. If they are showing a loss of appetite or being withdrawn, take them to your vet for a health check-up.
Why cats are often misunderstood
Their solitary nature has contributed to the myth that cats are resistant to forming bonds with humans. In fact, the data shows that in several countries, dogs are the preferred companion over cats. But making a direct comparison of cats with dogs is futile, as they’re two completely different animals.
One look at their ancestors and it starts to make sense. Unlike dogs, who descend from wolves and therefore have a stronger pack-like mentality, wild cats predominantly lived alone. If you have ever had the pleasure of living with a cat, you will understand that their occasional aloofness contributes to their overall charm.
Certain signs, such as a cat hissing or growling, are not because they are inherently aggressive; they are simply communicating.
Five reasons a cat might hiss
- They are over-excited
- They are frightened or threatened
- They are caught off-guard
- They are stressed
- They are in pain
Cats tend to be great communicators, so hissing is one way they communicate that they are uncomfortable with a situation or something is off.
How to form a bond with your cat
Learning how to bond with your kitten or cat will require some time and patience—but the payoff is more than worth it.
Before trying to establish a bond with your feline, let’s quickly run through what you shouldn’t do:
- Don’t be too enthusiastic. It may make your cat want to take some distance from you.
- Don’t over-pet. Too much unwanted attention could actually contribute to a stressful environment for your cat.
- Don’t force them to be affectionate. If your kitten or cat is in the same room as you, this is a positive sign that they trust you. They do not need to be sitting next to you or on you.
How do you know if your cat loves you?
Only your cat knows for sure, but here are some helpful pointers for things you can do to form an emotional connection with your cat or kitten.
Be patient
It feels important to start with this. Even with the best intentions, your actions may lead to your cat taking some distance. Therefore, observe as much as possible, to try and understand how your cat communicates. There may be setbacks but stay positive and patient.
Create a safe space
Yes, cats are cute and cuddly—but they probably don’t want to be in your arms all the time. They will appreciate having their own quiet space in the home, which can be their travel box, a cat tree or a basket.
Groom them
Cats spend hours to keep their fur in a healthy state. So one way to create a bond with your cat is to take part in their grooming rituals. Buy a cat-friendly brush and see how they respond. Talk to them quietly and use gentle movements. Watch their tail movements. If your kitty moves away, let them go. And try again another day.
Play with them
This one is not for right away. It requires a certain level of trust from your cat. If you get there, it’s a strong sign that your kitten or cat likes you and an absolute joy to watch them chase after a ball.
Pet them
Start by gently offering a finger or your hand for them to sniff. The sweet stroking spots for cats are on their cheeks and behind their ears. If you hear any level of purring, it’s a sign your cat has bonded with you. Always avoid the belly area and their tail, they generally do not appreciate this.
Always follow your cat’s lead and go at their pace. Little by little, and with consistency, you will earn their trust and confidence. We can’t promise you a lap cat but you will recognise the signs that show your cat or kitten is totally attached to you.
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